“The proper behaviour all through the holiday season is to be drunk. The drunkenness culminates on New Years’ Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.” — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Sucking the fun out of life has always been an important component of politics.” — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“A road trip with Richard Nixon would seem like gum surgery on wheels. But Hunter S. Thompson actually went on a road trip with Nixon—or, anyway, on a car ride—in New Hampshire during the 1968 presidential campaign. Hunter described it in Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72: There were only two of us in the back: just me… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share
“Perhaps in that flight of birds . . . the leader was not really a bold spirit trusting to its own initiative and hypnotizing the flock to follow it in its deliberate gyrations. Perhaps the leader was the blindest, the most dependent of the swarm, pecked into taking wing before the others, and then pressed and chased and driven by… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share
“Indeed, it costs more. CNN reports that Hillary and Bill collected $153 million in speaking fees between 2001 and 2015. Ken Starr, according to… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“The world’s richest man pulled Microsoft out of his butt. All Bill Gates exploited was a line of 0s and 1s as long as a piece of string. Now Microsoft employs 118,000 people. Number six on the rich list, Mark Zuckerberg, created Facebook out of less than that. All Mark had was a dumb idea that all the stupid people… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share
“We all know how 'modern democracies take loaves from the wealthy.' It's the slipups in the 'pass them out to the poor' department that… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“The Affordable Health Care for Americans Act, passed by the House of Representatives on November 7, 2009, was 1,990 pages long. You could stand on it to paint the ceiling. The entire U.S. Constitution can be printed on eight pages. That's eight pages to run a whole country for 221 years versus four reams of government pig latin if you… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share
“We common folk may not be able to match Trump’s piggy bank, but even the most high-minded and charitable among us can match his… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“If Melania had come out and said, “According to my husband, I should be very pretty to get what I want in life,” that… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Instead of cathedrals, mosques and ancient temples, we have duty-free shops—at their best in Kuwait. I never knew there was so much stuff I… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“And if there’s a libertarian moment in the future it won’t be while moderates are in charge. Because there are three basic tenets to… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“We got over feminism, too. At least women did, as soon as they were hired for those high-prestige jobs that only men used to… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
