SURE-FIRE SINGLES AD: Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money. Loves to turn off Sunday football and go to the Botanical Gardens with that special someone. Will obtain plastic surgery if necessary. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it omance and adventure. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
They'll give you an Oscar if they think you're about to drop dead. The problem with The Oscars is, the average age of The… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
I hate The Oscars. The Oscars make me want to throw things at the TV. In the ancient history of The Oscars, people would… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
I love Martin Scorsese, but there's another indication of what The Oscars are all about. They've ignored Martin Scorsese for going on 35 years… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
You're not a real Texan till you've been kicked out of every decent state in America. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
I always remind people why The Oscars got started in 1928: It was an effort by the studios to suppress the unions. They started… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
The movies that are honored at The Oscars are always a certain type: Old-fashioned. It's a bunch of well-made, old-fashioned movies that support our… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
“I went to school in Hooks, Texas, where most people can't even read the name stitched over their own pocket.” — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share
