On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle? — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years. — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them. — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
I have stayed true to that first idea that people can have a day in their lives that is very important and if they… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill. — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system. — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts. — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything.… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
