“Going out? Are you going out? He's not going out? What do you mean he's not going out? Are you out here because you're still mad that they moved the Dodgers to L.A.? Are you going out or not? You're… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
“I am firmly committed to the proposition that whoever is in power is exceedingly silly… And that goes for the opposition as well.” — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
“All White House hopefuls we forewarn: You'll have to prove that you were born. Before Trump hits the state of granite, He must identify… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards? — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters--which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
The interesting thing about class warfare is that it's only class warfare if it's up, not down. If you talk about welfare cheats or… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
