Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
