“Why that's a colossal fib. I'm a very kind person. I've never hurt man, beast or child. Except when I had to. I belong to the Bare-Hand-Wolf-Choker Association.” — W C Fields Copy Share Image
A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape crusher with athlete's foot?. — W C Fields Copy Share Image
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it. — W C Fields Copy Share Image
“Why that's a colossal fib. I'm a very kind person. I've never hurt man, beast or child. Except when I had to. I belong… — W C Fields Copy Share Image
It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never even thanked her. — W C Fields Copy Share Image
“I was the first comic in world history, so they told me, to pick fights with children.” — W C Fields Copy Share Image
