I look at the newspapers, and I cannot believe most of the stories I read. Bernie Madoff, who actually screwed millions of people for billions of dollars, it's just unbelievable what he got away with and how long it took… — Alan Abel Copy Share Image
Even with clothing naked animals, there were people who wanted to send in money. A woman in Santa Barbara, California, sent a $40,000 check.… — Alan Abel Copy Share Image
I once recommended [in a San Francisco Chronicle column] that a third arm - a plastic arm - be sewn at the base of… — Alan Abel Copy Share Image
I look at the newspapers, and I cannot believe most of the stories I read. Bernie Madoff, who actually screwed millions of people for… — Alan Abel Copy Share Image
We're a nation of sheep. If you go out and look up at the sky, people around you will start looking up at the… — Alan Abel Copy Share Image
My credibility is zero. My wife claims she can go before any judge at any time and have me committed. — Alan Abel Copy Share Image
![“I once recommended [in a San Francisco Chronicle column] that a third arm - a plastic arm - be sewn at the base of the spine so that people could have a tripod to sit on while waiting in line, and it was taken seriously.” quote by Alan Abel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/de0/alan-abel-62189_arms_i-once-recommended-in-a-san-francisco-ch_249337.jpg)
