“Calling a tongue piecing 'cosmetic' is a bit of a stretch, since you don't get one because it makes you look better. You get one because you're so desperate for affection that you're willing to gruesomely harm yourself to advertise… — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
Ah, youth. It's like heroin you've smoked instead of snorted. Gone so fast you can't believe you still have to pay for it. — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
“The fucking beef industry and the fucking HMO industry,' Friendly says. 'Al-Cowda and HMOsama.” — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
When God is truly angry, He will not send vengeful angels. He will send Magdalena. Then take her away. — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
Like most people raised on American movies, I have poor access to my emotions, but can banter like a motherfucker. — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
“So I'm on my way to work and I stop to watch a pigeon fight a rat in the snow, and some fuckhead tries… — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
“The complete destruction of the human race is fairly amusing, obviously, particularly if it's going to happen through overpopulation and technology, the only two… — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
what a fascinating mix a hospital can be of people in a huge hurry and people too slow to get out of their way. — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
“If you're going to be soulless, you should at least consider outsourcing your conscience to someone else.” — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
You should never bother trying to remember where you put something. You should just imagine needing to put it somewhere now, then go to… — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
It's a weird curse, when you think about it. We're built for thought, and civilization, more than any other creature we've found. And all… — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
“But rituals turn us all into fucking idiots. Like those birds that sleep with their heads facing backwards because their ancestors slept with their… — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
