“And then Loki gets jealous of how pretty Thor is and is like “I wanna dress up too.” — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Loki sees her and he is like “Oh man that chick looks like she is about to get some TREASURE I want to RUIN THAT ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR HER because I am Loki and that is what I DO.” — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“And then Loki gets jealous of how pretty Thor is and is like “I wanna dress up too.” — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“He calls up all the gods like “HEY, GUYS YOU SHOULD COME OVER I’M HAVING A WEIRD COFFIN PARTY.” And all the gods are… — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“the first thing that’s gonna tip everyone off that the world is ending is this thing called Fimbulvetr which just means THE WINTER OF… — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“So he calls up Loki like “LOKI SOLVE MY PROBLEMS WITH GIANTS.” And Loki is like “What? Why?” And Odin is like “REMEMBER HOW… — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“(He tells fortunes by throwing palm nuts and reading their patterns but I failed to clarify that because I was looking for an excuse… — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Hey, is there a female version of wingman? Wingwoman sounds awkward. I’m coining a new phrase: Titcaptain. Tell your friends.” — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Dionysus the god of drinking so hard you wake up with TWO hangovers and then they FIGHT.” — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“So the moral of the story is that the primary ingredient for a successful nation is guns.” — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“So, basically, what it all comes down to is that we are made of tears from the disembodied eyeball of a guy who fucks… — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“That's all any of these myths have been trying to do. To take a huge, terrifying phenomenon, something you can only stare at and… — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Is it just me, or is spooge the single least attractive synonym for dickglue?” — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
“No, see what I’m trying to say is that I watch people organizing themselves into these neat little conflicts: Atheists versus Christians Jews versus… — Cory O'Brien Copy Share Image
