My wife and I both made a list of 5 people we could sleep with...she read hers out and there were no surprises...1 George Clooney...2 Brad Pitt etc...I thought 'Ive got the better deal here'...1 Your sister — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
If I'm honest, I think everything is funny. You've just got to find the right way in. When I'm at my happiest and when… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
I had some terrible times - comparatively speaking. I saddled myself with a load of debt, I wasn't liked by a lot of my… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
If you can help it, don't be rude to people. When you're rude about someone and the audience laugh you can't deny that it's… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
I've got a little baby, I made him...He doesn't speak, he's 2...He's a slow learner, he's only got 2 words...car and map...I'm slightly worried… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
I don't want a chat show or to be on telly every day, as that's not my business; my business is standing in front… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
I do speak well as I went to a posh school. But I come from no real breeding. — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
Sometimes it's difficult to laugh at certain things but comedy can help. — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
Hard audiences tend to be when it's all men. It's when businesses have dos where they're at conferences all day then book a comedian… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
I thought I was going to do some cult, cool, late-night interviewing thing on BBC2. But everyone kept saying: 'No, Michael, you're teatime, you're… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
I definitely wanted a Ferrari 328 - I was obsessive about cars as a kid. — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker. — Michael McIntyre Copy Share
