I've always known I'd be a bank robber. So judge all you want, ladies and gentlemen. Because you never did become an astronaut. — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible sat on… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Depression is like slashing at ghosts. Of course it's tempting to finally cut something real. — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“I'm not really like a cop at all. I haven't got any actual authority. If someone does show up to do anything bad, I… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“We'll wake up every day and we'll tell ourselves, "Live for today, you retarded little shit. The end is near.” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“She wears glasses that are not too small. I wish I was a girl like that. I wear contact lenses because glasses make me… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Death is not the end. Death is an ocean on all sides of our lives. Deep and dark and cold, and anything but empty. — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Dear Nintendo, We need a new Mario game, where you rescue the princess in the first ten minutes, and for the rest of the game you try and push down that sick feeling in your stomach that she’s ‘damaged goods’, a concept detailed again and again in the profoundly sex negative instruction booklet, and when Luigi makes a crack about… — Joey Comeau Copy Share
I have a form of ESP that allows me to consistently pick losing lottery numbers, and generally make poor life choices. — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Satellite images, maps and blueprints of the whole world, of every city. We could look it up and know what's there in someone else's… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“There is no subtle way to mention you miss the curve of someone’s ass. ” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
