You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado? You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open.… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99%… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Country music is about new love and it's about old love. It's about gettin' drunk and gettin' sober. It's about leavin' and… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
