If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I'm very lucky in that I've gotten to do a lot of things. But if you ever put a gun to my… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Country music is about new love and it's about old love. It's about gettin' drunk and gettin' sober. It's about leavin' and… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting,… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
