If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
If you can't bear to have your face stepped on, don't try to climb the ladder of success. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to… — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn't let the stork… — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
Next time a man tells you talk is cheap, ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia. — Evan Esar Copy Share
“Let those who want to, arrive Let those who want to, leave Let those who want to, stay With out harm to me or… — Evan Esar Copy Share
The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter. — Evan Esar Copy Share
The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible. — Evan Esar Copy Share
There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece. — Evan Esar Copy Share
The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself. — Evan Esar Copy Share
Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when you are… — Evan Esar Copy Share
A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why. — Evan Esar Copy Share
You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game. — Evan Esar Copy Share
