Humor Quotes by Kresley Cole

“Cannibals need love too.”

— Kresley Cole

“Darwin says people like you need to die.” (Carrow)”

— Kresley Cole

“You leave me tied up like a dog? Then you had better remember that this bitch bites!”

— Kresley Cole

“What good is it to be rich if we canna scrape up the scratch to buy a political prisoner on a whim?”

— Kresley Cole

“You're not leaving me behind. Or I'll do a spell to make you smell like ass. Forever.”

— Kresley Cole

“Aww, did we masturbate through the tears last night?”

— Kresley Cole

“Fuckhead: The name’s MariKETA. Go to hell, The WITCH, doing a creepy spell somewhere right now.”

— Kresley Cole

“Nïx lay on her side, bending her elbow to casually prop her head in her hand. With a sigh she said, “Bowen,…

— Kresley Cole

“They desecrate Riora’s sacred temple! She will be enraged.” “Oh, gods, look at the marble. We are all beyond doomed.” “Somebody put…

— Kresley Cole

“I don't get it. I'm sexually attractive to a remarkable degree-" "And humble." "It's not bragging if it's true. And I'm his-which…

— Kresley Cole

“Nix to Regin: What about that nice leopard-shifter pack that wanted to date you? The benefits of a variety pack of males…

— Kresley Cole

“I doubt she'll welcome you if I tell her you undressed me." "Maybe she'll only partially welcome me." Smart-ass.”

— Kresley Cole

“Apparently, he’d killed so many family members that he must have significantly affected the Lore’s population. Doing my part for the environment.”

— Kresley Cole

“Lothaire is very much alive.” “You swear?” “Often. Though not as much as foul-mouthed Regin. I try not to in front of…

— Kresley Cole

“If you want to communicate an idea to a man's brain, you must talk to him through his pecker. It's like an…

— Kresley Cole

“Whenever other Lore creatures like the nymphs and satyrs turned their noses up at the “hex-hacks,” Carrow would raise both her hands…

— Kresley Cole

“Olivia sat back and propped her half-boots on the table. 'So far it's working. He has to return to me because I…

— Kresley Cole

“She, too, is one of Regin’s friends. They’re poker buddies, sisters of the Wii, and Mari is a vaunted member of the…

— Kresley Cole

“Yes. But…” She stroked the smooth backs of her claws down his arms. “You’ll have to spend eternity making it up to…

— Kresley Cole

“Lothaire to Trehan: “You are related to me by blood and, like me, are a Dacian royal.” “So?” “So that means your…

— Kresley Cole

“You do not mind my humor?” “Not at all. I’ve not laughed like this …” His brows drew together. “I think I’ve…

— Kresley Cole

“I had just heard tales that the Valkyrie were large warriors, akin to Amazons.” “If you’re the sole survivor of an army…

— Kresley Cole

“Doona worry, I’ll take care of you.” He grasped her hand in his. “You’re going to be all right.” Chloe’s gaze drifted…

— Kresley Cole

“Other males saw Nïx as exceedingly comely; all Bowe saw was a powerful being made mad as a hatter from her foresight.…

— Kresley Cole

“Trehan &Lothaire “My Bride poisoned me so that I would lose a match against the demon male she loves.” Lothaire hiked his…

— Kresley Cole

“You could’ve sent a message to a letter station at one of the portal gates.” “What should I have written? Dear Harlot,…

— Kresley Cole

“...a woman's voice said, "if you've reached this message and you weren't trying to contact Regin the Radient" - Regin? -"then I…

— Kresley Cole

“Yo, beautiful. Come pop this collar off me.” Natalya hissed, “Are you mad?” “What’s she gonna do? Vivisect me? Imprison me? We’ve…

— Kresley Cole

“I need you to scry for Lousha," he said. "You told me once that you could." "Yeah, I can get you in…

— Kresley Cole

“David Greene was kind, and he had a sense of humor. He made your mother laugh.” That was all Gran could muster…

— Kresley Cole

“This is what it's all been about with you," he said in an even tone. "All the fear, all the running. The…

— Kresley Cole

“We’ve found his lair in a mortal city called York—” “It’s New York,” Stelian said with a roll of his eyes, as…

— Kresley Cole

“A king of a kingdom no one fucking knows about! I'm the tree in the forest that silently falls--when no one is…

— Kresley Cole

“Torture?” she asked with a laugh. “My first piece of information I’ll divulge to you? I wouldn’t recommend trying to torture me.…

— Kresley Cole

“Why don't you just buy me a minivan, zip me into mom jeans, and shoot me in the face" - Melanthe the…

— Kresley Cole

“Enough. You're going to make yourself sick." He clasped her hand to help her up. She reluctantly let him. "But I haven't…

— Kresley Cole

“I hope they're in town. I want to face them!” Regin stood and brandished one of the two swords that she usually…

— Kresley Cole

“There’re three ways to get there from here, each one worse than the last. You can either hold your breath through the…

— Kresley Cole

“Nix to Declan: Begin transcript— Testing. Hello, hellooo, anybody out there? Check, check, one, two. Soft pee. Puh, puh. Resonance! Sooooooft pee.…

— Kresley Cole