Humor Quotes by J.R. Ward

“Well, aren't you Mother fucking Teresa”

— J.R. Ward

“Holy hypixia, Batman”

— J.R. Ward

Gallows humor is part of having a doctor in the house. Deal with it.

— J.R. Ward

“I am not worthy." he said softly. "Damn fucking straight," someone growled.”

— J.R. Ward

“You're such a pain in the ass. (Butch) Said the SIG to the Glock. (V)”

— J.R. Ward

“I'm still convinced you're doing my GTO, you bastard.”

— J.R. Ward

“Hell, any plan that added "and then we pray" is not a trip to Disneyland.”

— J.R. Ward

“You're some freaky shit, my brother. You really are”

— J.R. Ward

“Phury was the only other possibility, but he was a celibate with a broken frickin' heart. Not really man-whore material.”

— J.R. Ward

“In his old life, the answer would have been easy: He'd have just put a gun to Vin's head and dragged the…

— J.R. Ward

“Aha!" Lassiter pointed at the boob tube. "You motherfucker! I knew you were the father!”

— J.R. Ward

“Rehvenge, I’m talking to you more than I speak with my mahmen.” “I thought your mother was dead.” “She is.” “You have…

— J.R. Ward

“Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK. - Jane”

— J.R. Ward

“What’s next? The size of my cock?” “Hey, even pencils can get the job done—I’ve heard the moaning from your room to…

— J.R. Ward

“Z: "You know, this was a hell of a lot easier when you were out cold in the back of that truck."…

— J.R. Ward

“Personally, I think so-called "common language" is more interesting and apropos than "proper English"; it's passionate and powerful in ways that "wherefore…

— J.R. Ward

“...Jim finished his beer and wondered how in the hell he'd found himself in the role of Cupid. Man, if those four…

— J.R. Ward

“Courtesy of their tempers, both were now dressed in the Captain Asshole costume—which included, for no extra charge, the cape of disgrace,…

— J.R. Ward

“Lassiter hit pause and clamped a hard hand on his shoulder."Sit the fuck back. Watch and learn." "What? How much I hate…

— J.R. Ward

“Okay, okay, okay … go to your corners, boys. This is a nice Aubusson carpet you’re standing on. You get blood on…

— J.R. Ward

“You can call me Pastor-and before Mr. Sox Fan gets his panties in a wad, I want everyone to know I'm legit.…

— J.R. Ward

“I brought us all Big Macs,” he said happily. “I know you dig ’em, remember?” “What the…” Tohr tightened his grip on…

— J.R. Ward

“The staircase that was revealed was lit with a soft red glow. I feel like I'm walking down into a porn movie,"…

— J.R. Ward

“-BDB on the board- Knitter's Anonimous May 8, 2006 Rhage (in his bedroom posting in V's room on the board) Hi, my…

— J.R. Ward

“He swiveled his head towards Eddie. "Tell me how to get over to the Four Lads. Do I have to die again?"…

— J.R. Ward

“Tohr took a pull of his beer. “What the hell is this?” “When Harry Met Sally.” Tohr lowered the longneck from his…

— J.R. Ward

“Wrath: What the hell are you supposed to ask? Rhage: I know! Who do you like the most? It's me right?Come on,…

— J.R. Ward

“I want to see the front of you.” “That’s what all the girls say.” “Do you expect me to roll you over?…

— J.R. Ward

“They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his…

— J.R. Ward

“They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his…

— J.R. Ward

“You love it right?" Lassiter asked, holding his Bible high. "I mean, you told me to go on the internet. I did.…

— J.R. Ward

“Ride?" Rhage snorted. "Please. That thing is a sewing machine with an air dam taped to it. My GTO could dust the…

— J.R. Ward

“After shoving his former clothes inside, Xcor found himself bowing at the waist. "Your assistance has been much appreciated." Antoine raised his…

— J.R. Ward

“Don't be an asshole" Rhage summed up the regurgitation with two words: "Kettle.Black." Fucking hell. "Did you guys plan that out?" "Yeah…

— J.R. Ward

“He kissed her a little more deeply and was happy to hear her gasp of pleasure. The sound brought his erection back…

— J.R. Ward

“Tohr jacked forward his in his seat. "What the hell!" As Lassiter's big body cut through the projection onto the screen, a…

— J.R. Ward

“Wrath: look at how their folklore portrays our species. There's Dracula for Christ's sake, an evil bloodsucker who preys on the defenseless.…

— J.R. Ward

“His ears caught a sweet chiming noise, and a moment later a warm rush fell over his body. How we doing Rhage?…

— J.R. Ward