Humor Quotes by Brandon Sanderson

“I am a stick.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“Sequels always have to be bigger.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“Our names and titles are assigned randomly by a small monkey who has been fed an exceedingly large amount of gin.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“Adolin sighed softly. “Of course. He’s probably their leader now or something. Storming bridgeboy.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“I like visiting people in prison. I can say whatever I want to them, and they can’t do anything about it.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“I’m sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“That was not a glare. That was a dignified look of measured contempt.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“Oh, I’m not objecting,” Navani said. “I’d let a confused dishwasher marry us.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“My master warned me about you.” “Then he isn’t a complete fool,” Talik said. “Just mostly.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“Oh, I’m not objecting, I’d let a confused dishwasher marry us.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“She didn’t open up to me until I gave her my honest face.” “Your honest face doesn’t have to be that of…

— Brandon Sanderson

“I probably shouldn't mock our family. House Davar is distinctive and enduring." Jushu raised his cup. Wikim nodded sharply. "Of course," she…

— Brandon Sanderson

“What a pair they were - a Mistborn who felt guilty wasting coins to jump and a nobleman who thought balls were…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Oh, storms. That was awful." "No it was funny. You seem to get those two mixed up a lot. Don't worry. I'm…

— Brandon Sanderson

“I can see what you’re up to.” “Five foot six inches,” Shallan said. “I suspect that’s all I will ever be up…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Besides—only people from Arelon are taken by the Shaod. It an take Teoish people, but only if they're living in Arelon at…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Go into the building, search out the Returned who lives in it, and run around in circles squeaking as loudly as you…

— Brandon Sanderson

“I didn’t say Tvlakv isn’t a bastard. He’s just a likable bastard.” He hesitated, then grimaced. “Those are the worst kind. When…

— Brandon Sanderson

“You have quite the clever tongue on you!” “I’ve never actually had someone’s tongue on me,” Shallan said, turning a page and…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Does the king know you're back?" "Nope! I'm trying to think of a properly dramatic way to inform him. Perhaps a hundred…

— Brandon Sanderson

“People don't read anymore. And, when they do, they don't read books like this one, but instead read books that depress them,…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Are you that afraid of being wrong? One would assume you’d be accustomed to it by now.” He grunted. “Be careful, girl.…

— Brandon Sanderson

“How did they decide what was valuable? Did they all just gather together, sit around in their suits and gowns, and say,…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Whoa. Not too stiff," Cody said. "Secure, strong, but calm. Like you're caressing a beautiful woman, remember?" That made me think of…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Please,” Shallan said to the sphere. “I need you to become fire.” Pattern buzzed, speaking with a new voice, interpreting the sphere’s…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Has no one done my son a service and assassinated you yet?" "No assassins yet," Wit said, amused. "I guess I've already…

— Brandon Sanderson

“I have to say, old friend, you were supposed to help train her, not drop her off a cliff.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“How did you get to know people so well?” Teft asked. “It involves a lot of cutting them apart,” Kaladin said.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“Why hasn't anyone killed him yet?” “Dumb luck,” Wit said. “In that I’m lucky you’re all so dumb.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“You know, Ham," Breeze noted. "The only funny thing about your jokes is how often they lack any humor whatsoever.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“Did I hear your correctly, my dear?" Ahan asked with a shaky voice. "You're going to go into Elantris?" "Yes." Sarene said.…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Janala is a fool, just bright enough to be proud of the wits she has, but stupid enough to be unaware of…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Besides, you scowl at everyone like an old man anyway. You'll be a great fit." Kaladin glowered at her. "Perfect! Keep it…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Have you ever tried to bribe a Korathi priest, Lukel?" Shuden asked pointedly. Lukel looked around uncomfortably. "I'd rather not answer that…

— Brandon Sanderson

“Brightness...I believe you stray into sarcasm." "Funny.I thought I'd run straight into it,screaming at the top of my lungs.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“Actually, no," Shallan said. "I'm just fond of hyperbole." "I'm not," he said. "It's a real bastard to spell" "Kabsal!”

— Brandon Sanderson

“Jasnah didn’t want to merely prove her points. She wanted to drive them right into your skull, with a flourish and a…

— Brandon Sanderson

“So the gods,” Moash said, nursing his own drink, “were pleased that you solved problems on your own . . . by…

— Brandon Sanderson

“I'm from southern Arelon, Princess," Ahan said, reaching for some more clams. "To us, round is beautiful. Not everyone wants their women…

— Brandon Sanderson

“I swear, my dear. Sometimes our conversations remind me of a broken sword." She raised an eyebrow. "Sharp as hell," Lightsong said,…

— Brandon Sanderson