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Humor Quotes by Bo Burnham

60 Humor quotes by Bo Burnham

All Humor quotes Bo Burnham’s page

Burnham teases the mystery of 'they' when people quote vague sayings. He reflects on his early desire to drop music and become a pure comedian, and he points out that comedy often leans on surprise and the unexpected. He also jokes that women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.

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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.

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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

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Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.

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People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist... how…

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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.

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I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.

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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

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I think because of the Internet I was able to study comedy from quite a young age and watch a lot of…

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I don't worship comedy; at the end of the day, I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.

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I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of…

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I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.

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Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop's another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you're talking about how…

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Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my…

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I was definitely not the kid that just wanted to be famous for no reason whatsoever and then happened to find comedy.…

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Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient…

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At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I'm also open to the fact that maybe…

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Comedy doesn't really matter that much; I know that. I treat it like an adult - I don't treat it like a…

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I'm very interested in trying to make comedy shows that are a bit bigger, more theatrical, more of a "show." Some people…

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For me, comedy is constantly presented as this fake casualness, like a guy just walked on stage going, 'This crazy thing happened…

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I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, "Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro!" I don't know if that's the…

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“Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, hollow be thy promises and shallow be thy shame. Thy kingdom come.…

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At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able…

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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

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I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.

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Not enough comedy makes you feel something.

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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.

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And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? an ironic way to die.

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Where are all the sour patch parents?

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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.

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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.

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I thought I had more of a European sense of humour than the average American comic.

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My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk,…

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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

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Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?

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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out…

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More by Bo Burnham

The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.

“Well, man, you know what they say." No, I don't. I don't know what they say. I don't even know who they are. Who…

At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put…

And there's a metal train that's a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her, How long til it…

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.

Most of my songs make fun of myself.

I write about what I know: teenage dating, overly charged sexuality, all the things that make you uncomfortable.

People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

Comedy doesn't really matter that much; I know that. I treat it like an adult - I don't treat it like a child or…

I've always liked the format of YouTube, sharing things for free, which is a nice exchange between people.

Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.

I don't really care about capitalizing on momentum.

If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn't respect that.

When life gets you down, make a comforter!