I don't want a little Oliver/Olivia parasite running about eating my biscuits. My friends, on the other hand, are procreating like humanity depends on it, and it doesn't. — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
I love painting. I love writing. I love creating and being around people who are creating. — Joe Lycett Copy Share
I think it's something to do with the nurturing side of the psyche; tying up a sunflower or whatever and helping it grow, it… — Joe Lycett Copy Share
Life is hard. There's parking fines, PPI, the Kardashians - it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. — Joe Lycett Copy Share
You should always ask for a refund at the theatre, apart from my shows, of course, where I won't be handing out any refunds. — Joe Lycett Copy Share
I did a tweet about LGBTQ+ and someone was saying 'what's the + and what's the Q?' and some people would be like 'you… — Joe Lycett Copy Share
I nearly got hit by a car while I was trying to write a stupid joke but a female sheep stood in the way.… — Joe Lycett Copy Share
I'm not that sort of writer where I can restrict myself to a theme, just in case nothing good comes of it. — Joe Lycett Copy Share
Alan Carr is an out and proud gay man but there isn't a famous bisexual equivalent - it's a lot rarer. — Joe Lycett Copy Share
Best place I've visited is probably Tanzania when I was younger and I'd love to go to America as I haven't been to loads… — Joe Lycett Copy Share
