You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open.… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now.… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
