any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. Words spoken out of our presence strike us as more powerful, just as people we know only by reputation seem larger than life. — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
To say that a person feels listened to means a lot more than just their ideas get heard. It's a sign of respect. It makes people feel valued. — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
In dialogue, there is opposition, yes, but no head-on collision. Smashing heads does not open minds. — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict. — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
“A woman will be inclined to repeat a request that doesn't get a response because she is convinced that her husband would do what… — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
Like most men, my father is interested in action. And this is why he disappoints my mother when she tells him she doesn't feel… — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
“...You're so real. That's why we love you." ... Her friend's response reflected the reciprocity of showing vulnerability. It is a gift not only… — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
The desire for freedom and independence becomes more of an issue for many men in relationships, whereas interdependence and connection become more of an… — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
To say anything about women and men without marking oneself as either feminist or anti-feminist, male-basher or apologist for men seems as impossible for… — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
Communication is a continualbalancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacyand independence. To survivein the world, we have to act in concert with others,… — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same. — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
“One reason it's so difficult to decide what to say became immediately clear: comments and questions that some appreciated were not appreciated by others.” — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence. — Deborah Tannen Copy Share Image
