Do my ears deceive me, or can I actually hear the sounds of worms turning? You say a turning worm makes no sound? But how about a chorus of turning worms? — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
“I am firmly committed to the proposition that whoever is in power is exceedingly silly… And that goes for the opposition as well.” — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
“All White House hopefuls we forewarn: You'll have to prove that you were born. Before Trump hits the state of granite, He must identify… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards? — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters--which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
The interesting thing about class warfare is that it's only class warfare if it's up, not down. If you talk about welfare cheats or… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share
