Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk? Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh?… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen. — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids. — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood -… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
If you see a kid in school, who is a little shy ... that's when you should reach out. When you do, you are… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned. — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn't a mean thought in his body. I've always said he was like a drunk Jimmy… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis. — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
