If I had the flag that Betsy Ross worked so hard on, I wouldn't destroy it. I'd put it up on EBay because it's gotta be worth some serious coin. And that is the American way. — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
I actually go to church. I know it's hard for you to believe. It's only because you know that Jesus on the cross? I love his smooth hairless body. — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
We didn't choose the joke because it's filthy! We chose it because of the structure! — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
Some performers are brilliant comedians, some are genius musicians, and some just make you happy to be alive. THE BOBS are all of that… — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I'm like one of those on-the-scene reporters. I will actually go and try to find disasters so I can write jokes… — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
I actually had to leave the country for infractions to fall off my record. — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
If I had the flag that Betsy Ross worked so hard on, I wouldn't destroy it. I'd put it up on EBay because it's… — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
I know jazz is completely un-American. But the reason why America doesn't like it is because it's not funny. We [americans] have made jazz… — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
We look at the ancient Greeks with their gods on a mountain top throwing lightning bolts and say, 'Those ancient Greeks. They were so… — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
There is no democrats or republicans, right or left, red state or blue state. We are all one. And we are all unified against… — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
How many impressionist painters painted the same damned thing? How many actors have played the same part in renditions of a play or dancers… — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
I actually go to church. I know it's hard for you to believe. It's only because you know that Jesus on the cross? I… — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
![“I know jazz is completely un-American. But the reason why America doesn't like it is because it's not funny. We [americans] have made jazz funny.” quote by Paul Provenza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/49f/paul-provenza-39458_america_i-know-jazz-is-completely-un-american-bu_2308644.jpg)
