I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“People in coats and ties were milling around the Talley gallery, and on the wall were the minimally rendered still lifes by Giorgio Morandi,… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Writing is something I took up rather than anything I had an inclination toward. I like acting -delivering someone else's message - but writing… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“It was easy to be great. Every entertainer has a night when everything is clicking. These nights are accidental and statistical: Like lucky cards… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“And after his unparsable response, including a passage where he said he was 'blurring the boundaries between a thing and thought,' she said, 'Thank… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I have no fear, no fear at all. I wake up, and I have no fear. I go to bed without fear. Fear, fear,… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
When I finally retire, I just want to go away so no one has to listen to me. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Only then does he realize what he has done to Mirabelle, how wanting a square inch of her and not all of her has… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“Lacey was just as happy alone as with company. When she was alone, she was potential; with others she was realized. Alone, she was… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me, your emotions… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
