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Golf Quotes by Bob Hope

49 Golf quotes by Bob Hope

All Golf quotes Bob Hope’s page

Cypress Point is a beautiful but exclusive course that draws only a few members. Bob Hope jokes that his slice lets him play three or four courses at once, and he even pays his green fees with jokes. He reminds us that a bad shot can be met with a smile and a thought of a bright day.

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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.

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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

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If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it.

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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.

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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

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That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

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Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.

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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.

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US President Gerald Ford's golf was so bad we thought he was a 'Hitman for the PGA!

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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and…

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Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, myself, a paramedic and a…

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Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.

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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy…

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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all…

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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of…

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Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie.…

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Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where…

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Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf…

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I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on…

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Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They…

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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When…

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On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.

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Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.

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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.

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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.

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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.

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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

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My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came…

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Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the…

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If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

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The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark...

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Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top.

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It's not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded.

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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.

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More by Bob Hope

I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at…

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty…

I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the…

Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.

Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for…

I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing…

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I…