I oppose preserving civilization because I have a better chance of getting laid in a post-apocalyptic world. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear guy on the dance floor 'Raising the roof,' you're not raising your chances of getting laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
FACT: If you clip your cell phone to your belt, your chances of getting laid decreases by 97%. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Are we gonna just make movies about trying to get laid over and over again or focus on something that's more relevant? — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
“All my friends are changing religions and getting laid. I have been too patient.” — Morgan Parker Copy Share Image
Getting laid off was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. But it led to the best results. — Tom Smallwood Copy Share Image
It's easy to get laid when you're rich and famous. When you're broke and unknown, it takes skill. — Kevin Bacon Copy Share Image
The sexual revolution transformed the American West: Now even cowboys can get laid. — Edward Abbey Copy Share Image
“The male author unthinkingly creates a world in which every single member of society is male except—hey presto!—when the protagonist feels like… — Howard Mittelmark Copy Share Image
Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on...you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I thought this election was an adult discussion on how best to protect ourselves in the face of terrorism, but apparently it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
next to it was a dvd called 'as i get laid dying,' which had a hospital scene on the front. it was… — David Levithan Copy Share Image
It's funny to see my friends going through that middle-age thing about losing their hair. I went through it in college. They… — Kenny Chesney Copy Share Image
Men think if they're getting laid, everything is fine. Women think if they feel good, everything is fine. Neither turns out to… — Mark Lawrence Copy Share Image
Like every young man growing up in the puritanical Eisenhower 1950s, I had a hell of a time getting laid. I suppose… — Edward Sorel Copy Share Image
All my life I just wanted to be a beatnik. Meet all the heavies, get stoned, get laid, have a good time.… — Janis Joplin Copy Share Image
I want to be with you, too,” he said. “I’ll come to your room after dawn.” Qhuinn didn’t want to ask. Had… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
“So those are your roommates, eh? What're the odds of having three gay-or-at-least-bi guys in one house, do you think?" "Who knows.… — Heidi Belleau Copy Share Image
My definition of success is doing what you love. I feel many people do things because they feel they have to, and… — Tony Hawk Copy Share Image
“Babe, best wool men ever pulled was lettin’ women think we think with our dicks. We pay a fuckuva lot of attention.… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
-and nobody’s getting laid!” I practically shouted. “You think I don’t know that?” He shifted his body beneath me, making me painfully… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
I'd always wanted to do a weekly strip, or a strip that was in installments like that. It's been fun trying to… — Daniel Clowes Copy Share Image
I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
“With a regrettable sigh he shook his head. "I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out." "What the hell are you… — R.L. Mathewson Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Conservatives have to stop complaining about Hollywood values. It's Oscar time again, which means two things: (1) I've got to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“She sank with an enormous sigh that carried all rigidity like a mythical fluid from her, down next to him; so weak… — Thomas Pynchon Copy Share Image
“Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“The male frog, in mating season," said Crake, "makes as much noise as it can. The females are attracted to the male… — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
“You stand there all tan and glowing and wonder why I use Voice on you?” he bellowed. “Where the hell do you… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved… — Ernest Cline Copy Share Image
“Cade quickly checked his cell phone. Of course Vaughn, with his FBI superpowers of perception, had to comment. “Got another offer on… — Julie James Copy Share Image
