Funny High Quotes by Ryan Stiles

Never trust sheep.

— Ryan Stiles

I did standup for a lot of years, too, but when you come out as a standup, you get the feeling from a crowd…

— Ryan Stiles

I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

— Ryan Stiles

Quiet! I'm expressing myself!

— Ryan Stiles

That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.

— Ryan Stiles

If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.

— Ryan Stiles

If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

— Ryan Stiles

Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got…

— Ryan Stiles

I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

— Ryan Stiles

If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.

— Ryan Stiles

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

— Ryan Stiles

If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

— Ryan Stiles

Back off or the lizard gets it!

— Ryan Stiles

Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.

— Ryan Stiles

The sky, the sky beyond the door is bluuuuuuue!

— Ryan Stiles