Funniest sports Quotes

The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.

— Randy Cross

I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.

— Robin Williams

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

— Jason Kidd

I ain't gonna be no escape-goat!

— Karl Malone

I've never lost a game I just ran out of time.

— Michael Jordan

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

— Anonymous

We talkin' about practice?

— Allen Iverson

I've had to overcome a lot of diversity.

— Drew Gooden

Well, Rickey's not one of them, so that's 49 percent right there.

— Rickey Henderson

You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that.

— Murray Mexted

Yeah, I'm cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person.

— Jeremy Roenick

The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23!

— Kevin Keegan

You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.

— Lou Duva

Booze, broads and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?

— Harry Caray

Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious.

— Charles Shackleford

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch and one on the throttle.

— Bob Varsha

They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds.

— Anonymous

When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you're getting your ass hammered by guys, there's no better feeling…

— Matt Stairs

The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Somebody actually saw Adam…

— Carl Everett

He has turned defensive boxing into a poetic art. Trouble is, nobody ever knocked anybody out with a poem.

— Eddie Shaw

I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn't spell it.

— Rocky Graziano

The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at…

— Chuck LaMar

Ray Lewis is the type of guy, if he were in a fight with a bear I wouldn't help him, I'd pour…

— Shannon Sharpe

What's the difference between a three-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.

— Mike Ditka

You guys line up alphabetically by height.

— Bill Peterson

To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too.

— Matt Millen

Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.

— Charles Barkley

Because there are no fours.

— Antoine Walker

Fade into Bolivian, I guess.

— Mike Tyson

Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.

— Bum Phillips

We're not attempting to circumcise rules.

— Bill Cowher

Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.

— Doug Plank

I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.

— Shaquille O'Neal

The Mets just had their first .500-or-better April since July of 1992.

— Ralph Kiner

I was thinking about making a comeback, until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.

— Johnny Bench

A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.

— Jerry Coleman

This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

— Ted Walsh

I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball.

— Pete Rose

I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that.

— Jerry Rice

I don't want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win.

— Sherman Douglas