It is hard being a football loather, a football unfan. I sometimes feel as lonely as the sole survivor in the last reel of a Zombie film, as, one by one, old friends reveal themselves, with their glassy stares and… — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
When cars honk and hoot and drunks squeeze out of car windows and scream, you can be sure that football is in the air. — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
The first thing I hear when I wake up is the sea, which is so close to our house that its reflections from the… — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
The British love of queuing and discomfort and being bossed around seems to have found a new outlet in the pop festival. — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
Men know something that women don't know. Never ask directions of a stranger. — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
The only behaviour that is truly common is to avoid doing something because you think others might consider it common. — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
Like the periwig and the bowler bat, the plus-four and the bow-tie, the blazer is on the way out, and those who persist in… — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
“One evening, at the time of the Six-Day War, I [Christopher Hitchens] had my wicked way with a lovely lady, who had earlier intimated that she did not perhaps find me entirely repulsive. We procured a decent room, as I remember, at the Cadogan Hotel. Perhaps a little flown with wine, I asked her to don a Martin Amis face… — Craig Brown Copy Share
When I tell people I don't own a mobile phone and wouldn't know how to text, they react as though I have just confessed… — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
“another of their acquaintances finds himself mesmerised by the way that he 'always had something of ... rivetting stupidity to say on any subject'.” — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
Like the firm handshake and looking people straight in the eye, the blazer had originally been a symbol of trust. Because of this, it… — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
Many people see the chance to eat something for nothing, without the need to cook or wash up, as the great consolation of going… — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
When I was a boy, I used to stay with a school friend in Bexhill, in Sussex, which was then well-known for being the… — Craig Brown Copy Share Image
