I'm more scared of parking by a parking meter than vampires because one of them is real and adversely affects my life and results in a $35 fine, and one is nonsense. — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
We decided we don't use the term 'fat' for me. We use the term 'juicy' for me. My wife's fine with it, but the rule is when I'm over double her weight, it's over. — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
I'm a huge fan of 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of my favorite shows. — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
You don't want to have to come into work on Monday already apologizing. I try to save my apologies for what I've done later… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
It's OK to argue with your friends. Guys can do it better than girls, usually, but if you ever get into a fight with… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
I went in and auditioned for one of the main guys for 'The League' when it was first casting, and I was so excited… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
If I was a condiment, I'm gonna go ahead and say I would be Sriracha, because I go well with other things. I'm too… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
I do two cups of coffee with a little bit of raw sugar and soy creamer, and then I do a bowl of plain… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
I love 'Love Actually.' 'Love Actually,' there's, like, nine stories in that movie. Three of them are good. But watching that movie, I get… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber is the greatest bad guy in a movie ever. — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
I'm a big crier in general. The right life insurance commercial will take me out for a couple of days. — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
My celeb crush is Julia Louis-Dreyfus. She's hysterical, she's beautiful, and she seems like a normal person. I'm in love with her. — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
I'm more scared of parking by a parking meter than vampires because one of them is real and adversely affects my life and results… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
