When I have to pee. 5%-Going to pee. 95%-Telling people you have to pee. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“As Tayna would say if I wanted to hear from an ass i would have fart.” — Suzanne Wright Feral Sins Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you see someone coming your way after you've just farted. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably shit!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Stop it. If you say sorry one more time I'm gonna go find something of yours and pee on it, I swear.” — Alice Clayton Copy Share Image
“Nothing is scarier than attempting the first fart after you’ve had diarrhea Author – Unknown” — Bianca Ku Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise and you can't make the noise again to prove u didn't fart… — Lol Copy Share Image
I hate dates. I sit at home all day, and I don't fart once. I go on a date and I've got… — Carl Barron Copy Share Image
[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. — Gwyneth Paltrow Copy Share Image
I've been standing in the bathroom at the doctors office trying to pee in a cup for an hour. I literally cannot… — Frankie Muniz Copy Share Image
Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where shitty ideas come from. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when someone farts in the elevator and looks at you to see if you notice :P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like… — Megan Fox Copy Share Image
“Shit" Bug said, his face sour. "It's that thing again. We've been dealing with it since Pierce. You think you have a… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
I think the way comedy is represented on screen is it's either all fart jokes - and it's just laughter for the… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose,… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Television is the Antichrist, and I can assure you after only three or four generations, people will no longer even know how… — Carlos Ruiz Zafon Copy Share Image
Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has… — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Isn’t he gorgeous?” With those rolls, the wet-sounding grunts, bulbous wiggly tail, and smashed face—not to mention the fart the dog let… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
![“[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness.” quote by Gwyneth Paltrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ba/gwyneth-paltrow-1230_dying_when-you-re-dying-laughing-because-your_945697.jpg)
