If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres. — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying… — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
Recently, my personal advisors have been telling me to go to America. Actually, people have been walking up to me in the street and… — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
I exist as an annexe of the BBC. I'm down the road a bit from the main building, in a little hut. — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
Now, as a comic, if you're vaguely amusing you can go straight into TV, then you play the O2 and then everyone's sick of… — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
I don't think people were that interested in what I was doing for the most of the 1990s. — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and… — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death. — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git. — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
