One really ought to be afraid of self-torture. But it tempted me. It begged. The dark place that my mind was fast becoming blends, in my memory, with the dark womb of church: the chant, the fugue of prayer, the… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
• Eating disorders are addictions. You become addicted to a number of their effects. The two most basic and important: the pure adrenaline that kicks in when you're starving—you're high as a kite, sleepless, full of a frenetic, unstable energy—and… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
“Something had been confirmed: I was worth giving a shit about; I was getting to be a successful sick person. Sick is when they say something. Of course, I had been sick for five years. But now, now maybe I was really sick. Maybe I wasgetting good at this, good enough to scare people. Maybe I would almost die, and… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share
Because I'm not, in fact, depressed, Prozac makes me manic and numb - one of the reasons I slice my arm in the first… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
“perhaps our purpose is, for the time being, to be human, to live on this earth and in this human community, to receive something… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
I have never been normal about my body. It has always seemed to me a strange and foreign entity. I don't know that there… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows it should not be there. — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
“At a certain point, an eating disorder ceases to be "about" any one thing. It stops being about your family, or your culture. Very simply, it becomes an addiction not only emotionally but also chemically. And it becomes a crusade. If you are honest with yourself, you stop believing that anyone could "make" you do such a thing— who, your… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share
You can't teach an ear, you can't teach talent, but you can teach people who have those things not to just fly by the… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
It's really interesting to me how all of us can experience the exact same event, and yet come away with wildly disparate interpretations of… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
“Being here, living now, recognizing our smallness, is a spiritual practice. It allows us to be at peace with our humanity. It humbles us… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
We think of bulimia and anorexia as either a bizarre psychosis, or as a quirky little habit, a phase, or as a thing that… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
The anoretic operates under the astounding illusion that she can escape the flesh, and, by association, the realm of emotions. — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
If I had been a different sort of person, maybe less impressionable, less intense, less fearful, less utterly dependent upon the perceptions of others - maybe then I would not have bought the cultural party line that thinness is the be-all and end-all of goals. Maybe if my family had not been in utter chaos most of the time, maybe… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share
