“I had a nice, long, hot shower but didn't come up with any great ideas. What a waste.” — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
“I just want you to know that most of the time, I have absolutely no fucking clue what I'm doing. I just happen to… — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
“sat down to write a book and instead left hilariously awesome comments across various statuses. You're welcome, Facebook.” — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
“Sam, just accept it. There is nothing funnier than penises randomly inserted in wildly uncalled for places in the sport of hilarious juxtaposition. Why… — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
“In case there was any doubt, there is a secret government agency that monitors all the things that normal government agencies vehemently deny any… — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
“Make no mistake: it's not that I actively dislike you. That would take an effort on my part that I have absolutely no interest… — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
“––but I love her and we're meant to be together and she completes me and I never want to stick my penis into anything… — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
“You know your cat is fucking with you when she poops in the litter box and somehow manages to miss the litter.” — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
