'Baywatch' sucks so bad. I didn't watch it the first time around; I'm sure not going to buy a DVD. But really, you just kind of find out the categories of what's most foolish about these people. With Hasselhoff, it's… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
It used to be that in media, Johnny Carson used to be the most important person when he would invite you over to sit… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
I'm not looking for 'outer esteem' anymore, what they call 'other esteem.' I'm looking for self-esteem. And people think that self-esteem is built with… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
This thing happened where I noticed anytime I got together with four friends or more, the conversation goes to food. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience members from… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
I lost over 100 pounds, so I'm even angrier than ever. I don't stuff my feelings anymore with food. Skinny girls are funny. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
I would make a few jabs at myself and go for the audience - they are still as flawed as ever. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
Until I got the weight off, there was something inside of me that said, 'You hate yourself.' You get too depressed over the weight… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
I have a shrink in New York and a shrink in Arizona, just in case. You never know when you will have a breakdown. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
Even going on stage is a service because it brings people up from thinking about their lost job or their lost spouse or something… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
I heard Cher say, 'I answer to two people: Myself and God.' I say, 'I only answer to me. I'm not sure I appreciate… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
I'm not a political comic at all, so it would be weird if I just turned into a preachy, sort-of political commentator. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share
