I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
I like to be able to connect with people. And that's how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share
