Dave Quotes by David Cross

In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes...you have to decide,…

— David Cross

I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.

— David Cross

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

— David Cross

There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.

— David Cross

I remember being a kid and the Vietnam War was huge and looking at Watergate.

— David Cross

I grew up in that minority. I grew up in the South, in Roswell, Georgia, and it was heavily white, Baptist, conservative. And the…

— David Cross

I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the…

— David Cross

It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny.

— David Cross

I still think that, hopefully, you're not ahead of the jokes, and I think that has value. There is a punchline and it's pointed…

— David Cross

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

— David Cross

Most people who have kids are, "Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and…

— David Cross

I was in Antwerp - which, I had about 20 shows left at that point - and a guy said, "That's Dave Attell's." Also,…

— David Cross

In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when…

— David Cross

So all my friends have kids now... which I think is rude.

— David Cross

I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.

— David Cross