Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Anyway, a spokesman for Barack Obama says the prisoners that are released from Guantanamo will either be sent back to their home… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There are reports on the news tonight that members of the Taliban feel persecuted and fear their own safety. So now they… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
China is now expected to surpass Japan as the 2nd richest country in the world. They could become the richest, but that's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They said that President Bush's war in Iraq has cost the former Spanish Prime Minister his job. So President Bush isn't losing… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Oliver North says he is very upset that John Walker could come back to this country and cash in on his celebrity… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republicans are now saying that Dan Rather should lose his job because he misled the country with bogus information. Which is odd… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A dead body was discovered this week on the grounds of a country estate owned by Queen Elizabeth. The queen said today… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know, there were lots of huge marches around the country yesterday to protest the immigration laws. The marches had quite… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Taliban has asked Osama bin Laden to voluntarily leave the country.They said they delivered him a note asking him to leave,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to the latest L.A. Times poll, 75% of Californians believe the country is headed in the wrong direction. And 60% of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, all across the country, this is kind of sad, unemployment offices are swamped with people waiting to file for unemployment insurance.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
General Wesley Clark commented on Gore endorsing Howard Dean. He said endorsements don't win elections. Hey, in this country, votes don't even… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to a new poll, 50 percent of Americans think the country is divided. The other 50 percent think it isn't. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to the latest poll, a record 73 percent of Americans think the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The FDA is now warning people not to eat raw cookie dough this holiday season. Is that how fat we're getting in… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
This is a strange country we live in. When it comes to electing a President, we get two choices. But when we… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They say there are something like 12 million illegal immigrants in the country right now, with another half a million coming every… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Senate is now considering increasing government subsidies for corn growers to produce more ethanol. If we produce enough ethanol we can… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know, several times, McCain talked about serving his country in Vietnam, which is a nice change after 16 years and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
