You can't teach someone to be funny, but you can teach comic timing. If you listen to a good comic, you can learn how to put it on a page. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Love them all," said Renoir. "That is the secret, young man. Love them all." The painter let go of his arm and shrugged. "Then,… — Christopher Moore Copy Share
“I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share
Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place. — Christopher Moore Copy Share
“I hope you are not here to ask me to do my bawdy business- the monkey has a nosebleed and the circus, sir, is… — Christopher Moore Copy Share
“The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share
“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend… — Christopher Moore Copy Share
“You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share
Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the… — Christopher Moore Copy Share
“Give us a call or you know, flash a searchlight in the sky with your logo on it, because we monitor everything.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share
“it wasn't so much like the hands of time had stood still here, more like they'd been thrown in the air in exasperation, the… — Christopher Moore Copy Share
