Comedy is surprise. Comedy is not something that you can, necessarily, do twice. — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
My dad's idea of punishment was to dress me up in all green to disguise me as grass, and then throw me in the… — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
I've always wanted to be a brooding, deep, dark artist, but I can never keep that facade going for more than 15 minutes. — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times.… — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
If you're the Rolling Stones, you can sing 'Start Me Up' for 35 years, and people still cheer. — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest. — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
I don't know much, but I like talking to people who know a lot more than I do. — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
One of the beautiful things about podcasting is that I'm not beholding to some public entity. — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
If you actually get down to the nitty-gritty of the average Pakistani, the average Indian, the average whoever, what you really do know emotionally… — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
Guys want a 500 horsepower car. I'd rather have one horsepower - in a horse. That's macho. You go to pick up your date… — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
