Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!" — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share
When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share
The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share
I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share
It's fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don't play… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share
People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share
I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share
I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share
That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say.… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share
