I keep getting asked out by really young, good looking boys and really ugly lesbians. So, even if I wanted to jump onto the tuna boat, I wouldn't because I'm not getting high-class babes that I should get at this… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
The only reason I was allowed to have a career for a quarter century as an insult comic is because it's all in jest and all for fun. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
It used to be that in media, Johnny Carson used to be the most important person when he would invite you over to sit… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
I'm not looking for 'outer esteem' anymore, what they call 'other esteem.' I'm looking for self-esteem. And people think that self-esteem is built with… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
This thing happened where I noticed anytime I got together with four friends or more, the conversation goes to food. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience members from… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
I lost over 100 pounds, so I'm even angrier than ever. I don't stuff my feelings anymore with food. Skinny girls are funny. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
I would make a few jabs at myself and go for the audience - they are still as flawed as ever. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
Until I got the weight off, there was something inside of me that said, 'You hate yourself.' You get too depressed over the weight… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
I have a shrink in New York and a shrink in Arizona, just in case. You never know when you will have a breakdown. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
