“Jeff: You know most people who've had near death experiances say they say a white light. What did you see? Akmed: I saw flying car parts! Jeff: What was the last thing that went through your mind? Akmed: My ass.… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
“Jeff: Are you married? Bubba J.: Yep. Jeff: Your wife pretty? Bubba J.: Ye... no! Jeff: What's the difference? Bubba J.: The light.” — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
“Look, I know I didn't finish school but that frickin' says 'Sa ntah ah nah!” — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
My goal in any show is to make people laugh. That's the No. 1 thing. Everything else pales in comparison to that. — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life and the interaction between the separate personalities on stage… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
[In my bio] is no drunk driving, there's no DUI's, there's no possession of cocaine, none of that stuff so you know, I don't… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage, and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
Even going to college, getting my degree in Radio TV and Film, as I was approaching the time when you have to decide on… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Johnny Carson at least once before… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
I'll come up with an idea for a character, and I'll write some jokes and make sure that that character is going to have… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
I'm guilty of being fascinated by gadgets and toys and technology, but any penny that I spend, I try to make it be a… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share
