Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy. — Seth Meyers Copy Share Image
Pope Benedict delivered an anti-euthanasia message this week, saying that people must accept death at 'the hour chosen by God.' And then he rode… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
Swedish automaker Saab admitted this week that for certain tests they used human cadavers as crash-test dummies. Worse, they weren't cadavers before the test. — Seth Meyers Copy Share
Starting Monday, 7-11 will begin testing a new plastic wrap designed to keep bananas yellow and firm for five days. Though if your banana… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
Astronauts living on the International Space Station will soon be getting their drinking water from a new system that recycles their urine into drinkable… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
The Earth will be around for a long time before you have a funnier president than Obama. He has a stand-up's cadence and the… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
Police in Portland, Oregon told a woman who was skating nude to stop after construction workers complained. Which raises the question: what in God's… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
A pair of identical twins in China married another pair of identical twins. What are the odds of that? Actually, in China, about 3 to 1. — Seth Meyers Copy Share
A New Jersey man is suing two men for allegedly using Facebook to organize an attack on him at a bar. By the time… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
The first time I had disposable income, the two things I cared most about were a television and a couch. — Seth Meyers Copy Share
Conservative lawmakers in Egypt have called for a ban on imports of a kit meant to help women fake their virginity on their wedding… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
A government study has found that traces of a chemical used in rocket fuel were found in samples of powdered baby formula, and could… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
A middle school teacher in Montana suffered some bruising and a large scratch on his back after he struck a bear while riding his… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
I did not go into comedy to escape anything. I went into comedy because I had parents who thought it was a reputable way… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
I love cheese plates. Though I actually hate cheese plates. Because I can't say no to them. — Seth Meyers Copy Share
On Wednesday, a 55 year-old inmate escaped from Rikers Island after he convinced guards that he was a lawyer. Guards probably should've become suspicious… — Seth Meyers Copy Share
