I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
People are constantly telling me, whether they are friends who feel sorry for me, because I can't find a place to live, or real estate agents, "You can't afford an apartment the size you need with this many books. Why… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
“lack, or loutish and crass kollective is a program dedicated to the proposition that vulgarity and bad taste are an inalienable right. the lackies,… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
The first time I ever saw platform shoes in the '70s, I knew they'd been revived from the '40s, and I felt sickened. And… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
