I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it. — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
Why do you do what you do? Why do you dress the way you dress?Why do you do what you do with your time?… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. And that's why… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
There's a mindset in other countries that if you're an American, you're a Christian. Well, those people are sadly misled; they don't know our… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
I would get ill before going onstage - something about getting in front of people, and if they don't laugh, I'm a bomb. I… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
We kept a broad audience, and we didn't make fun of people who had necessarily made mistakes in their life and burned them to… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after. — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
Harvey never had an original idea or thought in his life. I was out wandering around the country doing charity benefits, mainly, when I… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
I have a lot of awards in my house that I have absolutely no idea what they are for. — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
The majority of what calls itself Christianity today is a circus. You've got a bunch of people chasing health, wealth, prosperity; chasing a good… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
