“Laughter has proven to be useful in other ways, too. It can make an awkward silence a lot less awkward, like when you’re in a terrible marriage or an elevator.” — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“Do you like flora and fauna? How about plants and animals? Because we have more of that beautiful crap than we know what to… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“Are you having fun playing with those plastic 3-D models of ears, noses and throats? That’s kind of like what I do, except instead… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“There will be others, many others. You’ll try desperately to digest a single word through the acronym-laden gibberish, while beginning to wonder what the… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“Snorkel through our vibrant menagerie of fish and marine life, each one of which has been clearly tagged and labeled for your convenience. Do… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“There are five types of laughter to choose from. You can giggle, chuckle, howl, chortle, and, in extreme cases when you’re wearing a monocle,… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“If you come a little closer you will see that I am depicted as having three penises. Of course I’m not insinuating that I… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“I hate Risk. I have for many years now. I hate that you still like Risk. I hate that you guilt me into playing… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“The subject matter of daydreams has been determined by modern science to vary widely, ranging from having sex with a stranger on a train… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“LEARN FROM THE MASTERS: Mark Twain once said, “Show, don’t tell.” This is an incredibly important lesson for writers to remember; never get such… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“Writing is a muscle. Smaller than a hamstring and slightly bigger than a bicep, and it needs to be exercised to get stronger. Think… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“If you decide to cut something out this year, try replacing it with something else to balance out the loss. If you stop drinking… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“For a beverage, you asked for some “cherry-assed Kool Aid.” Okay, now you’re just adding “assed” in places where it doesn’t even make sense.… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“The more specific you are about your resolution, the better your chance of sticking with it. Don’t just say, “I want to lose weight.”… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“By educating me at home, my parents were able to give me individualized attention without the usual distractions that kids in regular school experience,… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“If I could fly, I would soar all the way up to the window of a plane carrying a suitcase in my hand, then… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
