Attempted Quotes by Paula Poundstone

You know, in politics when you come in third, it's a win.

— Paula Poundstone

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

— Paula Poundstone

I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music,…

— Paula Poundstone

There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.

— Paula Poundstone

I like to work on New Year's Eve. It has a nice spirit; a nice feel about it. If you are all about the…

— Paula Poundstone

I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

— Paula Poundstone

“Deep-rooted happiness may require a sense of purpose. If I don't feel that I am in some small way contributing to the greater good,…

— Paula Poundstone

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

— Paula Poundstone

I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a…

— Paula Poundstone

I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I…

— Paula Poundstone

I've always thought that if my death was imminent, I would read. When I can't focus on a book, I tend to keep reading…

— Paula Poundstone

I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.

— Paula Poundstone