My teeth are all right, but they are not American teeth, and my hair is not thick and luscious. Los Angeles is dense with beautiful people, and most of the men who are aspiring actors are 5ft 5in, so I… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
I know that this sounds grand, but I don't try to compete with other people. I like to think there's enough pie for everyone.… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
It's not like I think: 'By the age of 40 I've got to be an international household name.' When the opportunity to perform comes… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
Things don't get better when you become well known or go on TV. I'm just being rejected by a better class of women. — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
There's this way pop culture has been rammed down our throats that people think that if they were just in the right place at… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
When I started to mention to people who know about such things, 'I'm doing this game, 'Portal 2', they got very excited, suddenly. More… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
Once I began doing stand-up, I didn't get a kick out of the applause or being the centre of attention - but I did… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
I've always been a fan of physical comedy. It kind of hits you in a different way; it bypasses the intellect and hits you… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
I wish I could write 'Taxi Driver,' or 'Blue Velvet,' something brave, audacious, dramatic and dark. I don't know if I have the darkness… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
When I was a teenager, I met a comedian who I admired, and he was very rude to me. That's why when people come… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
Remember that film 'Sliding Doors,' when John Hannah woos Gwyneth Paltrow by reciting Monty Python sketches? I can tell you now that doesn't work,… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
I very rarely laugh. I remember I used to have a joy at comedy. I remember going to see Sean Lock for the first… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
I don't have any hidden depths; I'm a very superficial person. It's a constant frustration to me. — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
I'm too tall. I am 6ft 7in, so I've been most people's height at some point in my life, and 6ft 4in is the… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
My heroes - people like Woody Allen - were stand-up comedians. Therefore, I always felt I should give it a go. — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
A lot of my comic influences are distinctly American: Woody Allen and Bob Hope, for example. They were always the underdogs who were using… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
